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"So after you come back from Terra, we can be lovers."
Xia choked on a pea. He didn't assist her with her breath, just watched as she struggled. She put her dish on the end table roughly. "Excuse me?"
"You're interested in me. Now we're teamed. You've given me permission to use sex for rituals. We're good together. I'd like to be your lover."
"Okay—" She struggled up from the couch. Snatching her bowl up like a shield she rounded on him, hating that he looked so normal, with his drying hair beginning to shine in the kitchen light. "You don't just say stuff like that! It's arrogant and personal, and not what I need when I'm going into"—she flapped a hand awkwardly in the direction of the tiny spell packet—"that."
Storming into the kitchen she threw the dish in the sink with a clatter. Noting she had a scallop left, she snatched it up and ate it. Delicious. She chewed angrily, staring at the picture of the little white puppies above the sink. Spinning, she braced her hands by her hips, shoulders squared aggressively. "And I haven't given you permission to use sex."
He calmly rose from the couch, coming at her. She flashed to the relentless wall of water rushing at her from the horizon.
"If you want me to prove I can manipulate your body into orgasm, then you're giving me that tool to draw you back during the ritual."
She backed deeper into the U of kitchen counters. "It's just a test, just something I thought of, to see what kind of focus—"
He stopped at the sink. She'd avoided his trajectory but was now cornered.
"I read your file, Xia. I know your lover failed you. I will not."
"I'm here, aren't I? Ry didn't fail."
Adam turned from rinsing the dishes. He crossed his arms, mirroring her. "He didn't exactly succeed, either. Markos said you haven't been in the water in twenty years. I'm thinking it was your own will and power as much as his anchoring that pulled you back."
Xia felt her face flush. "That is not in my file." She was getting the feeling Adam and Markos knew each other better than she'd thought.
Adam's hand came away from his body, lifting toward her. It came slowly, so smoothly. At any time she could have stepped away, spoken. She watched it come. It was the hand with the bruised nail. Snugging her arms in tighter around herself, she held her breath. His finger skated along her jaw and curled around her neck. He was warm. His hand settled heavily on the top of her spine. He flexed his fingers into her, and the hair on her arms erupted.
"A forced orgasm is an exercise in brute dominance. I don't want you to lie passive under my touch, resisting and rejecting me, my hands manipulating your flesh to a physical reaction. Trust me when I say I have that skill. Instead, let me share my body with yours. I won't need to control you to bring you back."
He could have pulled her to him with a flex of his arm, but he stepped up to her. His face lowered, hovered over hers. His lips were parted, his breath caressing. "Do you really doubt that I can master your pleasure? Wouldn't you rather have a partner? I'm strong enough to force you, Xia. I would in a heartbeat, if I had to, to save you."
The heat from his mouth poured onto her lips, swelling them. She trembled. Her lashes fluttered, unable to bear falling into his dark gaze. His fingers curled against the edge of her neck, his short nails scraping gently. The shiver of sensation, so different from the firm press of his palm, cascaded over her chest. His thumb swept into the downy hair at the base of her skull. Pleasure tumbled down through her torso, rushing faster and faster.
She was going to allow this. He was nothing like she'd ever thought she wanted, and suddenly she ached to grab on to the release swelling in her womb. Adam was so unexpected and amazingly devastating. He took her from safe to unsteady and back again, with nothing but a sensual rub of his lips.
He shifted, and his other hand settled, so lightly, across her rounded belly. It hovered, flowing through the fold in her robe expertly, barely coasting over her skin. Her breath caught, but he inhaled, drawing hers back out.
"Xia, you are so lovely. Strong and bold, lively and shining with power." His lips caressed hers now as he spoke, and her knees shook. His palm settled low over her tummy, the press of him above her pubic bone freezing every muscle. She was held taut, suspended between his firm hands. Her breasts brushed his chest with every quick breath, aching. Her thighs felt the steel in his.
Lids lifting, dragging open in a daze, she focused on his eyes, the blond-dusted lashes sparkling even as he shadowed over her, his eyes opaque, riveted on her. His hand tightened on her neck, supporting her straining body. Her jaw sagged, lips parting in invitation as light began to pulse in her belly.
From his dark gaze, purple gleamed in triumph, and his mouth sealed over hers, pushing her mouth wide as he ate at her, slicking inside with his tongue. He reached deep and she tangled with him, thrusting her hips forward into his grip. His hand at her nape slid higher, fingers reaching into her hair. His palm on her belly slid lower, cupping her lower lips without opening them, lifting hard against her softness.
She shook, her arms bursting from their hold on herself to grab at him. Her fingers scrabbled at his ribs, finding purchase on the muscle high on his chest. He slanted his head steeper, sealing their mouths harder, reached deeper into her mouth, daring her teeth. She closed on him and suckled. It was his turn to jerk, his hips knocking his hand against her heat. His fingers tightened, the heel grinding against the beginning of her folds.
His hand flexed hard into her softness, seeming to reach for her uterus. Eyes meeting, holding, he pressed his lips over hers and ordered, "Come."
Light exploded inside her, low, trickling in a glow of wetness between her legs. Her breasts throbbed, and her head rocked minutely in his hold. "Oh," she breathed.
She sagged, but he held her, his hand leaving her hair to go tight around her back.
His lips moved hard and eager over hers, his tongue lapping at her lips as if she was his last meal. His body was rigid, so tight to her she could feel the fine tremor that ran through him. When it eased, he slid his middle finger firmly through the slit in her hood. The solid, hot touch of him pressing her up into her own wet heat came so shockingly strong.
"Watch." The word tore from his throat, spoken into her mouth as he kissed her, his lips sweeping strong against her once more.
When he pulled back, just enough for her to focus on him, he moved his finger on her buried clit, shifting just slightly on it as he pressed deep and steady. She stopped breathing as she watched her own orgasm roll through Adam's eyes, erasing him for a moment as pleasure blinded him. She blinked, and the purple of his eyes swirled to black. They each took a breath, and Xia thought his body against hers, his arm around her, was the only thing holding her together. Otherwise she would have disintegrated, subsumed not in one of the Four, but in pleasure gone to light.
He kissed her again, his finger sliding from her secret self, his hands wrapping around her hips, holding her tight as he rolled himself gently against her belly. She lifted her hands, holding his smooth cheeks, feeling his jaw work beneath her palms as they kissed, mouths wide as they tasted each other deeply. A shudder coursed over him, and she slid her fingers higher, threading into his soft hair, coming around his ears to fold his head close so she could drink down the last of his orgasm.
Huge, rough hands roamed up her back, pulling her into a tight hug she returned, wrapping both arms around his neck, burying her face in his throat when she could take the intimacy of his mouth no longer. They held tight for long moments. Xia learned to feel the knob of one lower cupboard sticking into her ass, and the coolness of the floor on her bare feet.
He kissed her gently on the forehead, and she reluctantly loosened her arms, letting him rise up and back. Her breath still came in small pants. She licked her lips. They tasted…surprised. But oh, so satisfied. Her fingers toyed with his shoulders, and she couldn't believe he had his T-shirt on.
He sounded extremely satisfied when he murmured, "See? Sharing is so much better."
Her lips buzzed, her jaw ached, and her breasts felt swollen and heavy. Wetness smeared her thighs, and her heart was pounding hard in her chest.
Adam's thumb brushed against her lower lip, wringing a gasp from her as a shiver ran down to her toes. "We'll be lovers." He sounded downright smug.
He was irritating, but her body was so pleasure laden, the feeling felt far away. He bent and she squeaked as he lifted her in his arms and carried her into the bedroom, maneuvering her awkward bulk through the doorways easily. He laid her on the bed and pulled open her robe like he had a right to. The irritation swelled, especially when she saw something that looked like greed and possession sweep over his face.
"Adam." Her voice was hoarse.
He sat on the bed, his hands in his lap, his eyes tracking over her thighs and belly and breasts and back again. "Xia."
"What was that?"
He met her eyes. Frowned at her hard, indignant tone. "You're not going to be angry. It was so good."
"Quit telling me, ordering me, carrying me around!" She pulled the robe over her chest.
He frowned deeper. His face began to change subtly, around the eyes and mouth, becoming the mask she was used to. "Why are you angry?"
She licked her lips and had to keep her body from shuddering. She sighed. "You just bulldozed me."
His shoulders pulled back, and his face was fully closed. "Instead of forcing your body, as you would have had, I shared myself with you. I showed you my skill and I did it respectfully."
Before she could think of a response, he stood and walked out. Xia slung an arm over her eyes. She heard the water running in the bathroom. It pissed her off that she wanted to watch him clean himself. He finished but didn't return to the bedroom. She heard him begin to wash the dishes. She felt like a slug and was bitter about it. He was the one who was all high-handed.
She went into the bathroom and washed the thick come from her thighs. Her face in the mirror was a revelation. Her auburn hair was tousled and loose around her shoulders, her freckles stark and her cheeks flushed. Her eyes glittered like mirrors and her lips were…indecent. Movie-star plump. Her nipples were still hard, and washing herself didn't do anything to settle them.
In the kitchen, he was on the phone. From the discussion of locations, she assumed it was about Gavin the rat-bastard harpoonist. She took a freezer bag and put the leftover stir-fry away. Adam took the pan and washed it, while she began to dry. He finished the call and put the phone on the bar. They worked in silence that blessedly didn't feel angry.
"Adam?" Crap. Her voice was high and uncertain. She cleared her throat.
"Aye." He undid the drain and rinsed the sink.
"It was good. Very…very good."
He wrung out the dishcloth. "Aye." He turned only his head and watched her with those deep eyes. "It will get better."
She felt her jaw come unhinged and closed it with a snap.
"Time for your next hoop."
"They're not hoops. These are training exercises. They're extremely useful."
The phone rang with a generic trill. He reached out for it without taking his eyes off her. "Adam here."
Murmur, feminine murmur.
"Try St. Lucia." He powered it off and set it down.
Xia realized she was still holding a dripping bowl and put it down as well.
"Let's do the integration. You'll see then that I'll never give up on you. No matter where you go in Terra, I'll find a way to get to you."
The thought of the intimacy of sharing Adam's conscious and unconscious thoughts was overwhelming after their first kiss. Oh, she needed to be honest here. After their first sex. Standing up, clothed. It was cowardly but she wanted to delay that test.
"Not the integration. Let's do the tug of war. See if you can get me."
He wrung the sponge particularly viciously. "Where do you want to do your test of wills?"
"Not the kitchen," she said dryly. "I'll take the bed. You take the couch. I don't want to risk us touching."
He slid a look at her and went into the living room. She finally noticed he was wearing different jeans. She had a thought that she had enough energy to go through this tonight because he'd taken on Aqua for her during the dreamtime.
"Are you sure you're up to this? Would you like to rest?"
"I'm ready." He folded his hands behind his head, his legs stretched out and crossed.
"We've already gone through quite a bit tonight—"
"If you're too tired, say so."
"Why do you always do that! You're so brusque and cold."
"I'm not being cold, merely truthful. I've no patience with social dithering. I'm too old for that shite."
"I'm sorry, okay? I hurt your feelings, and I'm trying to be more careful with you." She'd asked him to force her and he'd tricked her instead. She'd been maneuvered and had gotten defensive when she had no right to be.
He moved his laced hands over his head and down to his lap. "If the Chamber wasn't behind the order to send you into Terra, I'd have you on your back in that bed, buried balls deep. I haven't had a lover in thirty years, and if you don't get your round soft ass into that bedroom so we can finish this tonight and send you to bed, alone, to rest, I'm going to get up and walk out."
Xia stared at him.
"Close that gorgeous mouth. You're giving me ideas. Go."
She whirled and threw herself onto the bed. As usual, humans got some part of the legend right and others quite wrong. Selkies were wonderful lovers. If you could stomach them long enough to be with them.
She would delay returning to her quiet little cottage. She was going to go down to the water.
Xia knew better, of course. There would be a price to pay. But sometimes, living life in
careful boxes got boring. Xia tried not to be boring, even as she lived with scrupulous
responsibility. With Power comes Burden, as Aunt Natty said. Right before she fell asleep
over her morning tea. No, Xia wouldn't be irresponsible. She wouldn't shirk her burden.
She'd just poke at it a bit, like a wicked child shaking a hamster awake in its cage. Hmmm.
Xia wasn't sure how that analogy reflected on her maturity.
She slowed at the foot of the pier, where the steps went from the raised road down to the
cobblestone beach. Hello, hamster, she thought with a grin. He was tall, and blonde,
dressed in a ragged brown T-shirt and jeans. She never liked blondes. They were too
intimidating, tending to ooze confidence. He was wide, and strong. She never pursued lean
men, as her soft hips tended to be in a different class than muscular, fit bodies. He
was tied to the sea down to his very soul. She feared it like nothing else on earth, above
or below. And Xia, of all women, knew there was much to be feared.
The hamster's name—now, stop that, she chastised herself—the fisherman's name was Adam.
Others might wonder what a single man of his work ethic and beauty was doing in this
struggling village, working in the freezing, harsh, terrifying sea every day. Xia knew that
he could be no other place. This was his territory, settled upon him with ancestral blood.
He was working on a thousand greasy pieces of a battered outboard motor, strewn across a
piece of plywood propped on two sawhorses.
"Hello, Adam." Wakey-wakey, hamster.
He looked up, and his hair glinted in the sun like gilt. He had black eyes. Some would find
this coloring combination odd, perhaps. It suited him. Xia never cared for men with black
eyes. Their thoughts were too deep, too private, to ever truly know them. To every truly
trust them.
He straightened, a tool and a cloth in each filthy hand. "Hello, guardian."
See, now that right there made this trip down to the beach worth it. To be reminded that
this was not a man she'd ever go for. Jerk.
She smiled brightly from her perch on the purple Schwinn, looking down on him from the tidal wall.
She ignored the uncalled for way he used her title, putting a gulf between them. "Such a
nice day, isn't it?"
"Aye. Nice hat."
"It used to be. Macgregor found it in the short time it took me to pick up the post."
"Aye. I was thinking it was him, and not you, that ate it." His tone was sardonic.
"How's the engine coming?"
"As expected. It's a piece of shite."
"Ah. Well, good luck then."
He didn't say a word in return. She stared at him, smiling like an idiot, brain frozen.
Those black eyes were as merciless as the sea. And as cold. People who said selkies were
lovers were morons. There was zero connection here. Why did she persist in these wretched
encounters when the hamster bit?
Before, she'd thought to delay opening the letter. In her pique, she'd gone down to the
water. She'd spoken to the beautiful fisherman, the seal-man, the cold-eyed hamster who
plagued her imagination. Tonight, the nightmares would be very bad.
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